I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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