Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
