I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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