oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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