Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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