If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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