she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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