Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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