is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize