Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize