You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
