This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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