Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
love makes seman taste better
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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