My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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