I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
