Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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