somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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