No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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