i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
dude. I can hear the air.
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