worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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