i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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