Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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