I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize