He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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