we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
