do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
