it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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