I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
