Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
