I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
