I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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