I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
