Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
