i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
