THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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