on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
