i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
