Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize