called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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