I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
