What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
