True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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