New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
