I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
is that a dick in a sweater?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
