I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
