I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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