He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
