Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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