I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You're a waste of cheezeits
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Randomize
