So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
