My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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