wat bout pragnant strippers??
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have already put on my inside pants.
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