I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
