Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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