Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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