well you can't waste a boner
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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