I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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