WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
