I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How does one acquire holy water?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
