He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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