LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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