They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
