put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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