How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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