I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
