Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
sex in a hospital.. check
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
