I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm drive I can fine osifer
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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