She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
